August 2017 | Celia Swanson

Photo Credit: Bigstock.com

Have you ever reached an unexpected point in your life or career where you asked, “What am I meant to do with my life?” Perhaps you’re facing a crisis at work or a moment in time where you want more — a moment where you desire direction and purpose for your life and your legacy.

Are you in that moment now?

When the going gets tough, a knee-jerk response typically is, “How can I find purpose outside my current situation?” When in reality, that’s the wrong question.

Many who ask this question often find themselves on a merry-go-round of emotions, feeling lost and undefined, floundering in their decision-making and struggling to rise above their circumstances. Even worse, they sometimes fail to understand that leadership is not about them and the low hand they’ve been dealt. Instead, it’s about digging deeper into one’s full potential as a resilient leader.

The magic of resilience happens when one finds the courage to press onward even if it requires self-sacrifice. This trait is often found in many of the world’s greatest leaders and can serve as a “secret weapon” for discovering what you’re truly made of. This kind of grit also allows leaders to better define and demonstrate to others who they are and what they stand for.

So how can we shift our mindset and lead with resilience? Here are five golden questions that will help you rise above the challenges you may face.

How can I rise above the grips of my current situation? Resilient leaders constantly look for golden moments of growth opportunity amidst the driest seasons in their life or career. Whether they feel stuck in a job or paralyzed by decision-making, they always manage to rise above a ‘woe is me’ mindset and excel in the most challenging circumstances.
How can I create opportunity for others? It’s easy to target your vision around the next promotion or title change. Although it’s important to set goals, true success comes when you focus not only on being your best self, but replicating that behavior in others. When leaders take the focus off themselves and create opportunity for others, they will find their greatness and worth through a new threshold of leadership.
How can I muster the confidence to lead authentically? Authenticity comes as a result of being grounded and channeling your inner strength to grow and thrive. That is when a true inner calling can reveal itself. This requires an inner confidence and energy that allows us to learn from and face into the unexpected left turns. Foster your ability to find the lesson and use it as an opportunity to re-frame where you go from here. Then find the inner strength and drive to live up to your full potential. This is crucial to your success.
How can I influence my family? Most of us know leadership goes beyond the desk. Real success comes when you can set an example for your children and future generations. The goal is for them to look back and say, ‘My grandmother, great grandmother, etc. left an influential imprint on my life. She stood for something important and acted on it.”
Amidst it all, how can I remain gracious and strong? As leaders, we all share the same struggle and there’s no clear path set for what’s to come. As you navigate challenges, you must stay focused on setting clear goals, leading authentically and helping others achieve their full potential. Despite the seemingly insurmountable obstacles you face, show up as a leader who is gracious and strong.

It’s no doubt resilient leaders feel a strong sense of gratitude and satisfaction that only comes from true grit and self-discipline. Resilient leaders have their sights set not just on getting through the obstacle. They have the skill to re-frame the situation, navigate the challenges and lead along the way.

I was standing inside the walls of The White House when the entire world economy nearly collapsed.

It was March 2008 at the tail end of George W. Bush’s presidency. I and a few of my colleagues were hosting fifty Champion Families representing Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals. The President was scheduled to visit with the children and we could tell, despite his gracious disposition, he seemed distracted.

Little did we know, a mortgage meltdown was quickly approaching and it was going to be more entangled than we’d ever imagined.

Bear Stearns,

Lehman Brothers,

Goldman Sachs,

Morgan Stanley,

the list went on.

And when the dust finally settled, 5 trillion dollars in pension money, real estate value, 401k savings and funds had vanished from the accounts of American taxpayers.

It wasn’t until the bailout that we realized how entangled the system had become — in fact, the banks knew what was happening all along. It was a series of incremental decision-making that led to the worst economic crisis we’d seen in decades.

Still, whether in the throes of Wall Street or the halls of the workplace, I’ve seen how a lack of integrity and courage can threaten any organization. And I’ve learned the demise of these downward spirals boils down to two things — incremental tolerance and leadership by omission.

Incremental tolerance is when leaders turn their heads and accept gray-area behavior from those around them. They often find themselves saying, ‘Just this time,’ ‘It’s not really against the rules,’ ‘It might be fuzzy, but it’s OK.’ This behavior doesn’t always stem from bad intentions, but can cause irreparable damage overtime.

Leadership by omission is when someone makes a conscience choice to remove themselves from a situation that requires strong advocacy. They may say, ‘This isn’t really a problem in our organization,’ ‘I don’t really need to be the one to advocate on this issue,’ ‘I’d rather not stir the pot even though I know it’s the right thing to do.’ They will then remove themselves from the situation by leaving a job/role or by simply doing nothing at all.

These two shortcomings serve as immediate red flags that we as leaders must be cognizant of to ensure organizational success. This is not just a C-Suite issue, it’s relevant at any level.

Taking a stand, however, isn’t always easy and requires a special mix of grit and courage that’s essential for making a meaningful and virtuous difference. Below are four ways to become a more courageous leader that will help you avoid incremental tolerance, leadership by omission and other organizational shortcomings.

1. Understand your ‘Bright Lines’. Like traveling on a highway, it’s important to stay in your lane of virtue – not crossing the bright yellow lines that influence your decision-making. Take a step back and look at the situation with intentionality – what will you stand for? What will you not tolerate? What are the things that really motivate and inspire you to lead well? What are your non-negotiables? Taking time to evaluate yourself and define your very core will position you for success as you navigate unexpected challenges. In Wall Street’s case, people turned their heads one small decision at a time resulting in incremental blurring of their bright lines. For me, respect has always been a core part of my values. I refuse to sit on the sidelines while someone acts disrespectfully to me or my team. I will ensure everyone on my team is treated with respect and dignity and they demonstrate the same toward others.

2. Ask the right questions. Asking the right questions is essential for spotting courageous opportunities.

These questions include:

– Have you avoided calling out behavior that’s unacceptable?

– Are there situations where you say, ‘I’ll just let this go by?’

– Is it unclear to you or your team where you stand on a particular topic?

– Would people on your team expect you to have a point of view on a situation?

– Would people on your team expect you to answer to a particular scenario?

TIP: If your answer is ‘no’ to the last two questions, you may have a blind spot in a certain area and may need to consider requesting trustworthy feedback from others.

3. Speak up. When you see something, say something. We tell this to our kids when it comes to school bullying yet why does it stop there? Often, we think we outgrow these principles thinking it’s not our responsibility to take a stand for what’s right or that we’ll kill our career for doing so. However, a willingness to stand up, demonstrate bravery and withstand the tests of tension that come with courageous leadership will give you a true sense of purpose as you navigate your leadership journey.

TIP: Having courage as a leader doesn’t mean acting disrespectfully or recklessly. Be self-aware and identify the best approach to take on an issue without any ill behavior.

4. Model the way. Use this opportunity to demonstrate what it looks like to implement courage. Now more than ever, we need courageous leaders in our businesses and our country. Whether you’re a CEO facing the front lines of leadership or an intern just getting their feet wet, your actions have a ripple effect on those around you. And when you shift your mentality, you will realize where you are is not about you, but about helping others rise to success.

Courageous leadership can be lonely and gut-wrenching. After all, having the courage to do what is right even if it’s going to have a negative consequence on you is easier said than done. But when you exercise the discipline of courage, you will truly know what you are made of as a leader and others will experience the joy that comes from your bravery. I hope you’ll do just that in your leadership today!

The first experience I had with change was serious. It wasn’t a new department, logo or brand change. Instead, it was when my company was sold to a larger department store.

I thought my world was coming to an end.

I was on a career track where I thought I would breakthrough and become a VP. Then, before I could even blink, the family sold the company and I was one severance package away from finding a new job.

I was faced with some difficult choices, having to make due with one of the most disruptive situations I’d ever faced in my career.

Perhaps you’ve experienced something similar. Whether it’s an unexpected company acquisition or simply starting a new role, change has become a constant in the swirl of everyday life.

Despite this, the responsibility of managing change is not solely dependent on the C-suite. Instead, it should start with your mindset as an individual.

And although change can sometimes feel overwhelming, there is power in understanding how you can best adapt and regain a sense of control. After all, you still have control of your choices and how you’re going to show up. You may not have anticipated the change but you’re still in control of the outcome and how you move forward.

Still, why is change so hard? And how can we face the seemingly insurmountable challenges while navigating through it?

Here are six steps that will help you move past the initial shock and master the odds of disruptive change. | 1. Embrace the emotion. Understand change is like loss and it will be emotional. Let yourself and others feel and express the emotion up to a certain point of professionalism. The Kubler-Ross model is the foundational framework that illustrates change as very similar to the six stages of grief. When you fail to acknowledge emotions or push them down, it isn’t going to help you or those around you. Emotions must be dealt with at some time along the journey. Embracing the emotions allows you to address them and move forward.

2. Get your bearings. Understand what you do have control over and what you don’t have control over. It’s easy to think your situation was forced into your life. However, you’re still in the driver’s seat for how you handle the situation no matter the change. You’re still in control of the respect and dignity that can be experienced in the situation. And, you’re still in control of helping people understand the expectation of the change and moving forward successfully.

3. Discover your options. It’s important not to get caught up in what’s right in front you. Instead, you have to be proactive in seeing the possibilities of what could happen. Ask questions, gain as much information as you can about the current and future situation. In my case, the questions were, “Will there be job and growth opportunities?” “Who is the company that bought us?” “What will happen to the people in our stores and home office?” “How will the people I know and love be treated?” Finding the answers to these questions is a process and may not happen overnight. However, doing so will help you establish a strong sense of understanding how to best move forward.

4. Make your decisions. Once you’ve finalized your options, do everything you can to learn how to make the most of it. Take time to try it on for size and be proactive about how you can turn the negatives into positives. If it feels good and seems as though there’s opportunity, make a commitment to give the new process a try and actually work in the new setting for a while. See how it feels and if you think you can operate in the new environment. For me, I had to envision myself working at the new company and had to be sure I was aligned with their corporate values. I also had to decide if I could see my family being better off in a new community and how the company’s values would impact my everyday time with them.

5. Show up with purpose. This first requires you to get out of a victim mentality as quickly as possible and aim high with your character intact. Ask yourself, “What will it take to become a valuable asset in the new situation and, in the process, make my dreams come true?” More importantly, strive to become a person who is open and accepting of the change even if it has a negative implication on you. While you may never think there will be a job opportunity for you, you never know what doors may open. Working for a new company was an unexpected left turn I wasn’t prepared for, but I really gave it my best shot and lead from within. The new company saw this and eventually wanted me on their team.

6. Achieve a win-win. The speed at which you achieve a win-win is really the secret sauce. For you, your family and your company leadership. In the throes of change, you’re not always going to see a positive outcome. Still, if you deploy these techniques – accept the emotion, ask questions, show up in a way that portrays your personal character and be the kind of person others would want to be around – you can be in control of your outcome. Be intentional about discovering a positive outcome from this change and how it can propel you to a new place, a place that could be better than where you were before.

Ultimately, the key to success when dealing with change boils down to how quickly you can achieve a positive mindset. If you spend your time in uncertainty and negativity, it becomes debilitating. This is why you must maintain a positive sense of yourself and the situation.

But first, understand you will experience every emotion that comes with this process. None can be skipped. So it is with speed that you want to progress through each stage not just for the sake of being fast, but achieving a positive outcome or mindset of acceptance.

When you master these six steps and move from embracing the emotion to achieving a win-win, you can rise above the challenges of uncertainty and become a true change leader. I hope you’re inspired to do just that!

Monthly Archives: August 2017

Feeling Trapped? Harness the Five Golden Questions of Resilient Leaders

Courageous Leadership: 4 Ways Virtuous Leaders Stay Off the Sidelines

Six Steps for Mastering the Odds of Disruptive Change

How do you rise above the insurmountable?

How do you rise above the insurmountable?

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